Mumbai Darshan

Recently I read an article on India and how it lacks in basic infrastructure. Although I agree to this, infrastructure is not as bad as it seems.

Here are some useful tips to a foreign traveller to Mumbai(if you somehow managed to stumble upon my blog).

How to Travel on Trains:

Local trains originate from Chattrapati Shivaji Terminus and Churchgate Station.

Chattrapati Shivaji Terminus




Churchgate

Trains run empty in the morning if taken from these stations. Take a train and get off first at Marine Lines. You can take a walk on marine drive for a bit and while doing so, keep heading away from Churchgate. There are a few beaches along the way, but the breeze and the 'clean' atmosphere are good to begin the day with. Beware of beggars and urchins and so on. Ignore them and move on. If you have walked a bit, you can board the train back at Charni road(station after Marine Lines)and move on to Mahalaxmi.

Mahalaxmi houses the dhobi ghat and also the lovely race course. Please do not take a guide to explain how the washerman washes the clothes(waste of money) :)
The race course is a small walk away, and if you are lucky enough(and dress well enough, you can watch an ongoing derby.

Will continue in the next part..

Mumbai Darshan

India: Fragmented it stands, united it falls

While India scripts a winning story as far as GDP growth is concerned, I doubt if India will remain India after some years. To say that this division began with Raj Thackeray asking for migrants from UP and Bihar to leave, would be biased. It started with the demand for Jharkhand by tribals in Bihar and a hundred other rubbish demands. The violence that it threatened to unleash, made the then government shudder and they relented. The same is the case with Uttaranchal and the same could be the case with Telengana.

India, throughout its history, has been a fragmented nation, divided by caste, creed, regionalism and religionalism.( We rave and rant over Harbhajan being called a racist. Ask him how many people has he scoffed at for reasons like region, language etc.) The British took advantage of this with their famous Divide and Rule policy. It helped them rule over India for over 100 years. In 1947, the nation seemed to have divested itself of this but it never really happened. These issues still simmered below the surface and it only needed a match to light the powder keg. This match(or matches) has now been struck in various regions of India. It only remains to be seen how long we can hold on to this myth of unity.

My advice is, enjoy this illusion for as long as you can. India will be divided into Western India( Maharashtra, Gujarat and Goa), Central India( Madhya Pradesh, Uttaranchal), Northern India(Delhi, Punjab, Haryana and uttar Pradesh), Eastern India( Bihar, West Bengal and Orissa), North Eastern India( All north eastern States) and Southern India( Tamil nadu, Andhra Pradesh, karnataka etc.)

The gunpowder has just caught fire. It won't be long before the bomb blows up. However, there is a silver lining for the Chinese here. While we fight between ourselves, they can conquer India and rule us as the British did. Only this could be for longer, way longer.

India: Fragmented it stands, united it falls

Welcome to the Mumbai Transport Guide

The AutoRickshaw ( AKA:Rick,Rickshaw,Auto)



Small, fits only for three passengers. First, they will go only if and when they want to. In case of Natures call for driver, probable charge to destination being lesser than Rs.100, not in mood and pure laziness, they will refuse you. Scarier, they will refuse to look at you. ( These problems lessen in probability if you are a woman (Duh!!) or if you are white (LOL. For obvious reasons)). Spoilers: In case of emergency, when in bad mood skip. On the bright side, ask the driver to crank up the stereo on a rainy day, and enjoy!

The Taxi (AKA: None!)




The larger version of the AutoRickshaw. Archaic remnants of a bygone era. Some with doors that are held together by strings, some with windows that do not wind up, some shiny on the outside and awful inside and some that you wonder about( Gosh! How is this even running variety) Please insist on rate card or a Rs.30 ride may become Rs.100 quite easily. Their brethren in Delhi are worser though. Again, as is the case with their smaller sibling, the driver will take you only when and if he wishes.

The BEST Bus



Double Decker (see image) or single decker. Crammed to the brim. Feet are somebody else's property and god help you if you by mistake slam into a woman( Kya Be! Dikhta nahin kya{ Translation: Ass! Don't you see where you're going). Conductor will dictate terms, which includes speaking only in marathi[ India's national language is hindi BTW], treating you like shit, giving a ticket only if you have the proper change (god help if you produce a Rs.100 note) and asking you to move forward rudely even if the bus is empty.
If riding in vehicle beside this bus, take vehicle on footpath and park. If pedestrian, pray to god that the driver is in a good mood.


The Mumbai Local Train (AKA: Local, Train)





The king of all transports. Transports over 40 lakh people a day. Perks of traveling include Body massage, sauna, free deodorant and of course, if you are a woman, the realization that you really are different (Come on! You know what I mean)

And that is that

Welcome to the Mumbai Transport Guide